my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize