do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
