ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got inside last night via doggy door
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
