just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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