took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
