How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
