one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
did i walk over a car last night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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