Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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