Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Buhtt sex?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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