He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
