Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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