So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
