those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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