there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
