You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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