doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
