Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
