i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
