we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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