And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
