We named our party play list daddy issues
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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