lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
