you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize