Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
