Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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