Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
