A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize