All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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