Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
