My first STD was from a foam party
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
