Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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