I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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