I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
