We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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