Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
