I cockslap morals
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My life is pants optional.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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