Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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