Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
time to smoke my breakfast
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize