yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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