I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The air was thick with penises
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
