hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
