shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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