pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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