apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
