God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
