Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
