This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love you.
Bad choice
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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