I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
