On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
