So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
