I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
