Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
