Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
