dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
