i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How external is "for external use only"?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
