Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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