We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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