i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
