sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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