Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
