every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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