I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize