I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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