He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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