We won't sleep together?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
